User blog:Minipop56/Literal Review: Bob Ross vs Pablo Picasso
Pablo Picasso: I am the greatest! The modern art Muhammad Ali! So you box modern art? That's a bit pathetic. I'm pretty sure they can't fight back. I melt faces, call me MC Dali! Ok, MC Dali. Your whole body of work is a fluffy mountain of crap! Ok, MC Dali. You're the PBS version of Nickelback! I think you're the art version of Justin Bieber. Yep, I said it. But I think you must be a genius, cause with zero training See, I'm a marketing genius! You marketed for people to steal your artworks! You made millions teaching people how to suck at painting Did you just ... ? Oh, no you didn't! Why don't you go back home and beat your brush you chump! Because beating it would hurt. ;) I can make better art with my wiener, Lump. That's inhumane! So you're just gonna grab his head and brush it on the canvas? ' Bob Ross:' I'm so glad you could join me today. I wouldn't be. (I'm going to dis you.) So I can teach you how to feel some joy when you paint I'll be waiting for that. You're a moody little genius, always so serious Calling someone a genius isn't very effective in a rap battle, for your information. I know, you must be on your Blue Period! Actually, that was many years ago ... hang on, I see what you did there. Your work is melancholic, I'm painting happy little trees How can trees have emotions? Call me Jackson Pollock, because I splatter MC's Ok, Jackson Pollock. With the voice that soothes, so let's do this Do what, Jackson Pollock? I'll twist you up like you're a Rubik's Cubist So what do I do? You just said "let us do this" and I'm not doing anything. Pablo Picasso: Don't use that word like you know what it is! I'm fairly sure that I do know what a Rubik's cube is, but ... *brings up chalkboard* My sources show that you, Pablo Ruiz y Picasso, died in 1973, on the 8th of April. However, Ernő Rubik, the inventor of the Rubik's cube, created the Rubik's cube in 1974, after you were born. So, because you died before the puzzle was invented, you would not know what a Rubik's cube is, and thus would not have the authority to challenge my knowledge of the Rubik's cube, which is in fact rather extensive. You painted thirty thousand pictures of bushes and sticks! Ocassionally, I put mountains in my artwork, so ... Does your audience know that you stole your whole show? Why don't you ask my audience? By the way, let us be reminded of a certain quote: "Good artists copy; great artists steal." (It's by you.) You just ripped off your teacher, and added an afro! My name is Pablo Diego José Francisco de Paula Juan Nepomuceno María de los Remedios Cipriano De la Santísima Trinidad Ruiz y Picasso I have an idea. Stick with MC Dali. Back, to, you, Bob! Okay. Oh, and by the way, Bob doesn't rhyme with Picasso. Bob Ross: Well, Bob is droppin' bombs like this is Guernica! That's damaging! Served twenty years, Air Force, United States of America My technique will make your mistress weep So your technique is so bad that she's crying? Go put her to sleep, elbow drop her dreams, I go deep! Agreed, your show is so boring that it makes people go to sleep. And I keep it mellow like some Cadmium Yellow So you're yellow? I'm a bright, like Titanium White kind of fellow So you're white? I don't believe in mistakes unless you step to me That's not the encouraging Bob Ross I know! Yo Pablo, you just got your happy little ass beat! You still haven't taught me how to feel some joy when I paint! Category:Blog posts